What we all can agree on is that survivors of domestic abuse should have unlimited access to the resources they need for support. It was recently reported that just last year, in 2018, over 2.0 million adults between the ages of 16 and 59 had experienced domestic abuse in the previous year. This was factored down to around 1.3 million women and 695,000 men, who had suffered some form of domestic abuse.
On the bright side, if you’re reading this, we’ll assume you – or someone close to you – is either nearing the end of an abusive relationship or have already succeeded in releasing themselves from their abuser. Now, it’s time to focus on the most important person – the survivor.
Although you may be free from the day-to-day effects of the abuse you’ve been living with, it will take some time to disentangle yourself from the situation entirely.
Even though you’ve finished dealing with the immediate aftermath of the situation, the feeling of complete contentment is yet to fully set in.
It’s essential that practical elements such as housing arrangements, money, work and, if necessary, school arrangements for the children, are sorted as soon as possible. Doing this will allow you to start building your new life. Secondly, arranging for complete and legal cut off from all ties relating to your previous abuser will help to keep you, your family and your friends safe from any potential following harassments or altercations.
Recovering from such betrayal is by no means easy. It’s a long and difficult process that may take years to fully overcome. But the important part of the process is that there will come an end, there will be a day that you can wake up and feel completely and utterly safe from your abuser.
Full recovery starts with yourself. Yes, you’re going to think about yourself and yourself only. The emotional healing process is a lengthy one, so try not to push yourself to hard or fast in the beginning. Once you’ve got yourself feeling ready to take on the world one step at a time, it may be the case that making big changes to your lifestyle will feel almost cleansing. This could be anything from joining a local community group to further educating yourself in a different field of interest.
Creating new opportunities for yourself will, in turn, give yourself something to look forward to. Just remember to keep to realistic goals and reward yourself when you reach them as it’s not always the huge milestones that will make the most difference – the small ones count too.
There are so many different online support groups you can join, which will help you cope with the feelings you have at any point after. Websites like Hidden Hurt, Single Parents and Women’s Aid are all at hand to give advice and lessen the stress and loneliness that can come afterwards.
As listed in the beginning, there are also plenty of men who suffer from abusers and whilst there are lots of groups to support women, there are specialist groups that focus on recovering men like Survivors UK and Men’s Advice Line.
Those close to you
It’s also important to remember that you are never in this alone. Family and friends will always there to support you, so try not to shy away from their help and love. Ask for the space you need to cherish their kindness and don’t be afraid to lean on them during difficult times.
Are you a recent survivor looking to legal representation or advice, we can help. Get in touch with our experts at Lysander Law.