Advice on safely escaping an abusive relationship

A commonly overlooked fact with abusive relationships is that all genders can be victims with 15% of men and 26% of women ages 16-59 having experienced some form of domestic abuse in their lifetime. Anybody can be a sufferer.

It’s also important to know what the identifiers are of each type of abusive relationships and if they apply to your situation. Factors such as constant insults and online monitoring could be indicators of emotional abuse. Whereas physical abuse can have clearer boundaries.

We understand that the toughest thing can be seeking help, especially from external contacts such as charities or a legal firm, but strong, discreet support systems are in place and it’s important to know what’s available to you. In this blog we will discuss how to build your case and what you can do to escape a potentially dangerous or damaging relationship.

Evidence is key

Evidence is key to building a case against your abuser, recording as much as you can will help you and your case. It can be anything from photographs of the physical harm and the abusive messages to professional logs from the hospital and your local GP. Build a diary of evidence to help illustrate the frequency and patterns of behaviour. Witness accounts from family members and friends can also be counted as evidence, if they have ever been around in the event of your partner’s abusive behaviour.

Of course, it’s going to be difficult to just file that kind of evidence away so try to find the safest place to keep it. Perhaps at your friend’s house in a locked box. Alternatively, password protect a USB stick, which could be more discreet. Any kind of evidence or proof will help to build a strong case. Even if solid evidence can’t be retained, try to note down the series of events accurately and remember to date stamp everything.


Try to prepare as much as possible ahead of time. It’s best to reduce the likelihood of you wanting to turn back because you’ve got nowhere to go or no money to get you by. Securing a place to stay, whether that be anything from a new flat to a friend or family member lending you a room for a while until you find your feet again. Although it may be extremely difficult if your partner has made you financially dependent on them, it’s important to attempt to have a plan in place in the event of a legal court case.

Seeking help

There are many different support groups both online and locally that will be more than willing to help you should you find yourself victimised in a relationship. Refuge, Women’s Aid and Men’s Advice Line are just three of the many different support systems available. They can provide you with professional advice to help out with your situation, whether this be emotional support, advice on how to find legal aid or financial assistance in the near future. Other than charities, there is also the Citizen’s Advice Bureau, who can offer more practical advice.

What your family lawyer can do for you

When you’re ready to report your case to the police or significant body, be prepared and remember to get in contact with a family law firm to then continue to build your case. They will help you feel safe whilst resolving the situation for you and your family

Not only will our lawyers offer practical advice and help you put it into action, but they will make sure the advice they give is specifically tailored to your personal needs and situation rather than being general.

It’s also important to remember that it is not your fault, you are not alone, and you deserve to be treated with respect and love.

If you find yourself in a situation reflective of an abusive relationship, please get in contact with our team of expert Solicitors at Lysander Law.